:P

Hello Internet.

I don't know why it's so hard. But its hard for me. It's freaking hard! It appears that since graduating from Carnegie Mellon a mere six months ago I have completely forgotten the fine crafted art of STUDYING!

I really need to pass my driver's knowledge test tomorrow, but all I can think of is doodling and creating masterpieces that I probably won't because as soon as I start on them I'll get bored and wander to other things....

sigh. I wish I were more focused and not so easily distracted. I know I keep saying I need discipline, but that's all I've done. Said things. And the actions that I have kept my word to are really just stalling methods. Like this for example.

Someone once posed a question to an artist I admire. "Do you have to be a good person to be a good artist?" At first I read it and thought it was silly. But then I thought about it. A lot of people who others admire are humble nice sweet and quietly talented people. I'm not sure I fall into that category. I know I'm a bit too silly for anyone to really take me seriously. And I know that's because I don't take myself seriously. For one thing, my head is full of silly thoughts and want of a fun time. I think I'm just afraid I have nothing to give...

Okay. Well as I have let out my frustrations I will get to it!

Thanksgiving is upon us!

Dear Blog,

I wonder if it is really necessary for Thanksgiving in my family. Just saying its going to be awkward. I don't really mind, but I wish we could be like those family members me and my dad sometimes see at restaurants. All together, talking, laughing...the whole enchilada.

Well, I suppose this Thanksgiving will be no different. Although it will give me a chance to accomplish some things that I have not had time to do.

1. Paint my room green!
2. Rearrange my room (someone once told me that someone's room tells a lot about the person. So far my room is very cramped and cluttered) Time to shove all the furniture to the walls and leave some open space in the middle. What would that say about me?
3. Go shopping for clothes. Currently I am living on one pair of skinny jeans because my other jeans are "unprofessional" says dad. Well guess its time to get slacks and skirts! Throw in some shirts and whatnot I mean it is Black Friday!

I suppose no art related topics are up for this weekend as I am very busy relaxing and buying.

Movies to watch while relaxing: Little Mermaid, Bambi, Pinocchio, Dumbo, Cinderella, Swiss Family Robinson...I think that's all. Any other suggestions?

Food to make: Turkey (i have no control over this) pasta of angel hair zucchini and creamy tomato sauce, mashed potatoes, and maybe something else.

Alcohol to drink: wine and vodka.

Some Pictures...Finally

Well I realized I've been complaining a lot lately...or just rambling on about life stuff. So I thought I'd actually post some work I'd done a few months ago. Of course some are "incomplete" because I lost interest, but I thought I might as well get some stuff up while I'm remembering it.


This one here is my Wizard of Oz. I actually finished this one. Though a bit generic, I'm still pretty happy about it.

And of course, my elephant. Barfing up sweets is the way to go! I finished this one, much to my own chagrin.
Here is one I did for a character contest on conceptart. Of course I didn't finish...but this is one that I almost finished, so up it goes.

Ambitions and Reasonings...

I think its a really good thing I decided to have this blog that no one really reads. I just have stuff to say sometimes and I need to vent it as humorously as possible. At least, that is how my few viewers have commented... "oh Angela, you're blog is so funny, it makes me laugh"

I think this is good, because I like to make people laugh and the people I'm around now are my professional co-workers and my dad. Dry humor all the way babe. Also I don't think my dad understands most of my jokes. It takes a lot of effort and humiliation to make him laugh. Apparently, he used to laugh a lot in his younger days...I don't know what changed that...but for future reference and dating purposes, I will only settle for a guy that has a sense of humor!

Ahem! anyway, so the reason for today's topic is: taking art classes in the city.
I'm not ready to hang up my artist days, duh, far from it! In fact I don't even think I've really started my artist time. So I've decide to take one or two more classes in the city! I'm really excited. I bet you all were thinking, "yea right" when I said I wanted to have an exhibition. Well I was serious! I mean I may not have it this year...but in the near future I hope! wow lots of exclamation points huh.

Ugh...Complaints: My computer wacks out when I work with larger images. It is expensive to keep coming to the city like this.

Motivations: meeting new people who are in the art world. Getting a name for myself. Accomplishing something with myself.

I think part of me is really scared that some part of reality is starting to set in. I mean I've always been in school. I've never not been in school. Now I'm working and its growing into a time consuming routine. One that is passing by too quickly. Its already the end of November and I don't think I've done much but my job. It's time to shut up and do stuff.

Plan:
Attend Spring Street Studio Figure Drawing Classes. This is open to the public so I will be able to go in despite the randomness of the timing. I'm really interested in longer poses to work on my technique. I am rusty after all.

Then in January I will go the the Grand Central Academy of Art which a friend recommended. They are hard core rigid and meticulous she said. I'm so excited! Finally I'll learn how to draw properly! I will of course work very hard and hopefully get better!!!

End.

Hi.

Have realized it is dangerous to post things on the Internet... will restrain from doing so. :I

MORE COMPLAINTS!!!
Argh I despise staying home being sick when I have to be home with my mother. It is so frustrating because we are not speaking right now and I cannot come out of my room unless I want to see her stupid face!

Must paint my room green because I am UNMOTIVATED!!

Well weekend plans are weird since a certain someone's birthday celebration was I don't know, POSTPONED!!! after all our efforts...oh well. Forget it, from now on I will be doing things for myself thank you very much!

What do you do when someone calls you a bitch?

Lies and things I did...

Okay. I didn't finish the stupid picture. I got extremely bored with her and now this is all I've done.
Things you may notice that are different: I removed her ears and now she has regular hair which i added a bit more so that she seems more balanced. The sword is now more detailed, but even more boring. I fixed her other eye a bit and oh I added some detail to her outfit.

Things I need to do: Better sword for one thing, it is cliche and boring...which I'm beginning to see in the whole picture. What she's holding in her hand! I had an idea of putting a doll, but now I don't know. The thing in her hair, what is that? Lastly, the background. What should the background be??

Boo...don't reprimand me whoever reads this...Pretty sure this is a dead image.

Goals and other things.

Well looking back on my goals, I think I managed them alright. That is, I did manage to complete most of them. So I'm going to set some new goals today...

-Complete 10-15 pieces of work: In regards to this, I feel they need to have some similar themes or style. I think syrup is a very good example of what I want for some things. In which case I must learn to finish it. Also maybe golden tears ruby slippers, and the clown on the cross piece.

-Finish designing and putting up my website angelaw-studio.com (only after having enough work of course) I forgot how to do it though...so I'll have to beg Alyssa's help again (sheepish) I also have to finish the Montessori website which I am almost done with but now must relearn how to post things.

-Have my own exhibition in New York (also must find people to do this with): This one I'm really excited about since I can finally showcase my work. I'm not sure how people will take it since its not traditional work nor is it very artsy. Instead I would call my work depressive and scary, somewhat haunting. I want the word haunting to evolve into it. Anyway, I figure this would be a good opportunity to get my work out there, rather than only on the web, which it isn't even on...

-get a cat (this one I'm whatever)
-paint my room: green because it seems motivational

-paint the office: blue to soften it up

-get rid of the office lights: they are too bright

-find an art related job for next year: so i can live on my own in the city. I cannot stay here like this.

All in all even if I don't make some of my goals, I'll still be improving myself greatly now. This year has been good so far. Boring, and fun at times, and sometimes sad and painful. I find the hardest times I've been having is being away from Jeff. However, instead of complaining and wasting my time about missing him, I will work to make a name for myself. Back to work then!

TGIF

Dear God,

Thank you for this Friday. If not for this, I may have gone mad from mindless prattle all day. Listening to teachers complain, my father talk about politics and the incomprehensible nagging of children. All of this I do not care about.

My mind is drifting towards faraway places, mostly home in my warm cozy bed of awesomeness, some movies and me bottle of vodka! I wish i had some weed. That would make the weekend a hell of a lot better. Unfortunately, as I do not have the balls to find a dealer, nor the equipment... okay, next trip to New York we're getting some grass! God, I wish to have some weed.

If I had some weed, I would really get into my artwork this weekend! I'm not going to the city, so I'm not obligated to be sober. I'll be at home high off my ass and making very awesome work, that will be both inspiring and original. This of course will only be that way when I am high, off my ass and not sober.

I wish there was some way I could order the stuff online. Like ebay or amazon and even zappos. Today I think i will google drugs in ******** hahah.

Was away just now for 10 minutes because some kid forgot his backpack and we spent the better part of the time looking up and down and around. Honestly, they forget things within the first ten seconds. If I ever had a kid, I would fucking raise it properly. None of this coddling and "feelings" these parents shovel on children. As you can all see I would make an awful parent.

All this aside I believe this weekend will be a relaxing time. With sleeping in, artwork and fooding. Yes, things seems to sound much better.

The days that just won't stop.

Children...the bane and reason for existence. How adorable and horrifying their little voices chime.

Working here has made me realize a lot of things I had take for granted in college. Mainly that I had freedom and time and fun. Who needs responsibility and a schedule? Weekends are fun, but not the only time off. Now they are. Whatever happened to boozing all weekend and sleeping it off Sunday? Poop...

Don't get me wrong, I love the weekends! I get to plan these extravagant get togethers and party with friends and see my boyfriend. I wish that were enough for me.

Maybe I'm just upset at being tied down and having a routine. I'm not ready for routine! I'm ready for action and impulsiveness! I'm ready for the time of my life.

That aside, I've been working on some other things for the school. Here is the mascot an owl.

Some of you may recognize him from last year. I was too short of time to design a better more stern and wise owl, so now we have an adorable unserious creature. Hopefully people still take us seriously.

My dad likes him, but i know we'll have to change him later on.

Still, for now he will be the mascot for our website and paperwork.

Other thoughts...
I hate bananas
I've lost ten pounds i don't know if its because of the bananas
I'm becoming a model citizen!
I'm making a sunwho kung monkey for my next art piece.

Despite some of your unkind thoughts as to me never finishing a piece, i will have you all know I finished the damn shinigami! Just have to figure out copyright issues. Then maybe I'll post it, only i've heard about a lot of work being stolen, so i'm nervous...not that i think it was that fantastic, but still!

update!

I'm still on my banana diet and its shrug. I've lost 3-4 lbs but i don't see it. Anyway here is some update on my shinigami girl. I put it up on conceptart for critiques and someone asked me to give her hips. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to explain. She is adolescent. An age where no hips no curves are supposed to be there. I wanted to add some sexuality within innocence so lack of clothes. But I wouldn't say that's a turn on. So unless you are a pedophile...

I made her face much more serious above her age sort of thing. So there.

I'm happy to say someone told me this was their favorite drawing that I've done (idea-wise or in general not sure) but it made me happy. I think now that I am focusing on pieces I want, there has definitely been a change in my style and content. I think I'm falling into fairy death themes. We'll see how I develop lol...