Post Gradution Blues...

This is a strange time in life, as it is for everyone leaving college with a liberal arts degree and little else in mind other than finding a job. I'm sure everyone is doing their best in this economy and I am grateful for everything I've gone through in college.

I'm going to miss all the experiences and friends I made along the way and I'll think fondly of all these memories. I can't help but notice how I've changed these last few years, gathering from what I've read in my past notes. I wonder why i even wrote notes... I'm so cheesy. Still, shouldn't let the trend die so easily.

Currently, I'm working for a newly opened Montessori in New Jersey. You can imagine my excitement (SARCASM). I've learned to control my fear of children, at least on the outside. Really though I am very nervous and easily irritated around them. There is no way I am ever going to be a teacher. No, I'm the secretary...and occasional helper. There are lots to do, since the director didn't do anything digitally and relied solely on his memory. I changed that and introduced Microsoft Office 2008 to them...been very busy updating everything and creating advertisements and e-mailing and office stuff. I suppose this is an okay job, i'm dedicated and making good money and taking care of Dad. Did I mention he's the owner?

There is so much drama working in a school. That much does not change. Whether it is working in the college art office, or a Montessori office. I do believe teachers are Drama queens.

This is also good in that I can work on my own art and come along quite well. The internet audience at conceptart has become my new critique'ers and I am taking them quite seriously.

Looking back, I think i can say that i have changed a lot. For one thing, i've gotten boring, serious and responsible. This is a slap of reality hitting me. I used to be crazy and fun! Damn I miss those days. I just remember having the time of my life. I won't mention specifics since I have no idea who will be reading this...but let's just say...not many girls liked me...at. all. I regret nothing.

Of course this all changed my Senior year when i met my wonderful boyfriend. At least he was wonderful.

I suppose all relationships hit a bump sooner or later, just didn't expect mine so soon. Maybe I made the wrong choice, I might have. I'm laid back, love doing new things, getting drunk, hanging with people and partying. He's strict, likes to stay home and play video games all day, eat at the same places and is kind of boring. I love him, and maybe i needed this influence in my life, but i feel like he's my parent, not by boyfriend. And I'm too young to feel like an old married gal. Plus he's always yelling at me and telling me what i've done wrong. Sadly, I really don't think this relationship will last much longer. He is the first man i have fallen in love with, but he makes me so unhappy. I feel like I've changed part of myself to please him. I hate doing that.

Sigh...anyway, I think I'll make some new goals for myself again for this new year!
-Help the school run well
-Get several FINISHED art pieces together!
-Finish deciding on a website background
-Finish website
-Find an art related job in a city
-Have FUN (go clubbing, party)
-Meet new people and hang out with friends as often as possible

My message today is not like my past jolly old messages. This one sucks. Because I don't know if i'll like this lifestyle.